What About the Children?

None of us who have written about the subject of homosexuality expect that we will change the minds of many homosexuals regarding the morality of their conduct. That is not why we write.

However, there is significant confusion among Americans in general about the subject, and it is for their benefit that we write these articles. Most people feel uncomfortable accepting homosexual relationships as equivalent with traditional marriage yet do not know whether those who practice it should be censured by the community. Those of us who are traditional Christians have no problem simply accepting the biblical injunctions regarding same-sex relationships and may not have taken the time to explain not only the commands of the Bible, but also some of the “whys” behind those commands. The fact is that there are times when we, as mere humans, cannot grasp all the reasons behind God’s laws and must accept them by faith.

But, God is neither arbitrary nor petty. His commandments are always grounded upon eternal principles and are designed for our benefit. I am aware that our opponents are offended by both our position on this issue and the implication that they do not understand or accept that God knows better than any of us what is right and good for us. Too bad. As I see it, Truth is Truth whether I like it or accept it. There have been many times in my life that I have not appreciated the way the universe operates, yet I must come to terms with it. The laws of the universe will not change simply because I don’t like them. “I cannot break them, they will break me,” to paraphrase an old saying.

Besides the simple fact that the Bible forbids homosexual conduct, there are numerous reasons why we, as a culture, ought not accept it as normal or legitimize it by calling it “marriage.” I would like to address only one of them here. While it is biblically based, it is such a clear and universal principle that anyone who is willing can see it.

I am referring to the principle that no child should ever have to suffer unnecessarily from the decisions and practices of adults. In my mind, children should be buffered as much as possible even from legitimate choices that adults make. For example: at certain ages, children are very sensitive to major changes in their lives; therefore, parents should be extremely careful of up-rooting the family to move just to “improve” their financial circumstances. And, while it is legitimate for women to take work outside the home, it is now understood that children do better being cared for by their own mother than by a child-care worker. Parents ought to do all that they possibly can to keep one parent with the children rather than simply placing them in a day-care so that mom and dad can pursue their own “self-fulfillment.”

My point is that children deserve extra protection in every regard because they have virtually no ability to protect themselves. They did not ask to be born, they have no power, no wealth, no escape, and no attorney; we adults owe it to them to provide them not only a “good” environment but the very best possible. It is appalling to me that while we accept as legitimate apparently frivolous lawsuits over things like spilled coffee, we at the same time tolerate horrendous abuses against children. Make no mistake, children are badly injured by the divorce of their parents, yet we do virtually nothing to avert it. They are also abused by the general destruction and weakening of marriage itself. Children may survive failed marriages, they may recover from cultural confusion regarding marriage, but they are injured and weakened by them.

It is one thing when I make a poor choice that costs only me. It is a different matter when my poor choices affect and injure innocent children. Again, it is an uncontested fact that children do best when they are in a traditional, loving, two parent home. There are undeniably times when such a home cannot exist, as when a death occurs, and yes, adults will make bad choices. However, when a culture and its leaders knowingly and intentionally undermine and even destroy the environment that gives a child the best shot at a successful and normal life, that ought to be criminal.

Throughout history cultures have given special privileges to married couples in order to provide the most protection possible to children. They understood that the future of their community and culture depended upon the well-being of the children. Those privileges were not accorded couples for their own sake or to punish others. The people were simply wise enough to know that if their community were to survive beyond a few years, the next generation needed special protections.

Giving the same benefits of marriage to people in any other type of relationship necessarily weakens marriage by rendering it common and thus undermines to some degree the security and benefits children gain from marriage. This has occurred in European countries. Where alternatives thrive, traditional marriage has languished. When abnormal becomes normal, normal necessarily becomes abnormal. This must not be permitted with marriage.

It is an imperative that anything, whether big or small, that would undermine the well-being of children must be frowned upon by the community at large. This would include, among other things, divorce and the legitimizing of same-sex relationships.

Part of being an adult is to accept the consequences of one’s choices. If one chooses to do those things that are not normal and which most people consider unusual, he ought to accept that without demanding society change its values.

Marriage, the family, and thus children are under fierce attack in America. Let it not be said that under the banner of “equal rights” we trampled on the rights and needs of children to a normal up-bringing, and destroyed the happiness and security which ought to be the experience of every little one.