Pouch-schoolers be prepared: Horton’s writers don’t like you

Beware, home school moms: be notified beforehand that you’ve been typecast into the role of villainess in this weekend’s children’s smash hit “Horton Hears a Who?”

Settled down with our three and five year old grandsons Saturday afternoon, I was eager and prepared to point out the importance of a precious little speck floating throughout the movie’s opening frames. It would be a perfect teaching moment to share with them Dr. Seuss’ immortal, pro-life theme: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

But just minutes into the movie I gasped as one of the story’s key characters was introduced to the story line. An arrogant, snooty, evil, uncaring, and yes, unbelieving female antagonist named Kangaroo is introduced, and her little one pokes his head out of his mommy’s pouch. Kangaroo (with Carol Burnett’s voice)sniffs and says, “He’s pouch-schooled.” Pouch-schooled…home-schooled.

The other nicer moms let Horton play with their children and teach them about the forest, but no, not Kangaroo. Only she’s good enough to care for her little one. Hur-rumph…

The lovable Horton (with Jim Carrey’s voice) wins his way into the audience’s hearts immediately. He alone hears the tiny Who’s voice, and is immediately convinced life thrives on a tiny, little speck. The tiny Whoville mayor alone believes Horton, a huge, too-big-to-be-visible elephant, is protecting and caring for their peaceful little town.

If you’ve ever read Dr. Seuss’ “Horton Hears a Who?” to your children, you know the story line and how Horton so lovingly cares for and bravely protects the too-small-to-see Whoville residents. The artwork, the detail, the choreography and music are perfectly aligned in the cartoon and you almost forget the cartoon characters aren’t humans.

The artistry is a delight, and so is the overall theme emphasizing the preciousness and uniqueness of every life. The moral of the story is “a little child shall lead them,” which is fine, but it’s when the little Kenny jumps out of his “don’t-believe-it-if-you-can’t-see-it” mother’s grasp and tells her “No” in order to save Whoville that the story line becomes bittersweet.

In the very end, all is well, of course, and “A person’s a person, no matter how small” resonated with every caring adult in the theatre. The brilliance of the cartoons matched perfectly with a symphonic buildup kept the kids in the theatre mesmerized and engaged, even the most restless little 3 year olds. It’s truly a film for all ages. That’s what makes it’s anti-home school message so troubling.

As I followed our once-“pouch-schooled son”/now-father out of the theatre with his own little kennies in tow, I was saddened as I thought how the movie’s beautiful pro-life lesson was undermined by its unnecessary antagonism towards home schooling.

After a kiss and goodbye hug to all, I thought about that mean old Kangaroo and comforted myself by remembering our family’s “pouch-schooling” experience wasn’t as anything at all like “Horton Hears A Who?’s” ill-informed screenplay writers portrayed it. Our experience was more like the Whoville’s Mayor and his wife Sally’s home was — abounding with energy, silliness, learning, and laughter.

That’s the message I intend to shout out loud and strong, hoping above all hope to get that message out far and wide — maybe even into “Horton’s” big brave new world, way beyond our small, Whosville home schooling experience.