The family is a dangerous institution.

Which is why the forces of evil are aggressively targeting it. The family—consisting of one man and one woman in lifelong wedlock, and their children—is God’s ordained means of filling the earth (Genesis 1:28, 2:24, 4:1, 9:1). This poses a threat to those who worship nature, and thus want to reduce world population. Not only that, the family is also a reflection of Christ’s relationship to the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). This poses a threat to those who worship themselves, and thus reject the concepts of self-sacrifice and submission.

Further, the family is the nuclear institution for raising up the next generation in righteousness (Deuteronomy 6:7, Ephesians 6:4). This poses a threat to those who worship power, and thus want young minds to be left exclusively to themselves and their indoctrination. All in all, if you are looking to wreak maximum havoc on the earth, then one of the most dangerous institutions you will ever encounter is the family. And those who are looking to wreak havoc on the earth are doing their best to get rid of it.

However, an all-out assault on the family structure would be a bit too obvious. People have a God-given desire for the joys of family built into their souls and trying to convince them that they shouldn’t start families might not gain very much traction. As is the case with many contemporary strains of leftist strategy, it’s a lot easier to just slip in “alternatives” to God-given structures and paint them as a liberating, fulfilling, alternate norm.

A recent Bloomberg report did just so, by exploring the lives of successful, single, childless women, showing how avoiding marriage and childbearing improved their careers and personal wealth. According to Bloomberg, a rising cohort of women is choosing to delay or skip motherhood.

“As a result, many are advancing further in their careers than prior generations and entering a new frontier of wealth.”

While single mothers only made a median wage of $7,000 in 2019, single women without kids made a median of $65,000. Bloomberg explains that one woman interviewed

“relishes all of the lifestyle and financial freedoms that come with being a single, child-free woman in a well-paying job. That includes an apartment in New York City, a new beach house on the Jersey Shore, and frequent travel for pleasure as well as work.”

Further,

“she has a message for women just like her: You can still have it all. . . . ‘I love my life and feel very fulfilled.’ ”

Another successful, single woman highlighted her freedom to travel at will without a family holding her back and boiled her thinking down to

“I’d rather regret not having kids than regret having them.“

Such anecdotes may seem to support the idea that a family-free life is more advantageous than—and can be just as fulfilling as—a married one. However, as a general rule, neither the claim to financial advantage nor the claim to life satisfaction turn out to be true. As Brad Wilcox (sociology professor at the University of Virginia) and Alysse ElHage (editor of Family Studies) Newsweek retort,

“There’s just one problem with this kind of anti-nuptial and anti-natalist reporting: It’s completely false. In fact, the Bloomberg story is based on data derived only from single Americans, meaning there is no basis for comparison with married women.”

While single childless women may indeed make significantly more than single mothers, neither comes close to married mothers’ mean household income—$133,000. As for life satisfaction, Wilcox and ElHage point to data from the 2022 American Family Survey:

“Thirty-three percent of married mothers ages 18-55 say they are ‘completely satisfied’ with their lives, compared to 15 percent of childless women 18-55 . . . What’s more, single, childless women are about 60 percent more likely to report feelings of loneliness compared to married mothers.”

While the mainstream narrative shouts that a career without an encumbering family is the secret to a happy life, the stats show the opposite.

Very few people will believe the outright lie, “the family is bad,” but many might believe the more subtle temptation, “the family is a waste of time; you could live a better life without one.” However, attacks on the family that paint singleness to be just as fulfilling and even more financially advantageous don’t stand up to serious scrutiny. As happens so often when man thinks he has found a better plan than God’s, man’s grand ideas splinter against the solid realities of God’s world.

The Institute for Family Studies sums it up well:

“Too many [liberals] have embraced the false narrative that the path to happiness runs counter to marriage and family life, not towards it. They think independence, freedom, and work will make them happy, which is why significant portions of the popular media are filled these days with stories celebrating divorce and singleness. . . . The secret to happiness, for most men and women, involves marriage and a life based around the family.“

Start your school year off right by attending a family worship night! This is an event for parents, teens, kids and grandparents to come together over fellowship and praising our Creator. This event begins at 3:30pm on October 9th. There will be games, coffee, snacks, smores’ and much more.

This will be held at Marengo Barn, 5107 Thorne Road, Marengo, IL. There will be a $25 fee and space is limited, so grab your seats by following the link here.

Written by Hayden Sledge

I am a woman. I am also pro-life. Unfortunately, many people today see these identities as contradictory and antithetical. Over the past few decades, society has tried to force many women into a box: If you are a woman who is proud of your womanhood, you should support and advocate for abortion. If not, how can you be a true advocate for women? Supporting women has become synonymous with supporting abortion.

But truth be told, abortion is devastating to women. Abortion can cause physical and psychological complications to the woman obtaining the abortion and affect her ability to successfully carry future pregnancies to term. Not only that, but many of abortion’s unborn victims are female.

These considerations lead to an important question: What does it truly mean to advocate for women?

A true advocate for women supports God’s design for women

God specially designed women with the capacity of bringing life into the world. In the creation mandate given in Genesis 1:28, the first human couple was charged to fill the earth and exercise dominion. While both the husband and wife play a role in conceiving life, the woman has the privilege and responsibility of bringing the new life into the world. Thus, while not all women will be mothers, many will, and motherhood should be seen as a high calling worthy of respect, rather than an impediment needing to be overcome.

Unfortunately, the abortion industry presents a narrative that women can only assert control over their lives if they have the option to abort their children. However, God is ultimately sovereign over all aspects of our lives, including the pregnancy journey, the mother’s life experiences, and the development of unborn children. God’s hand is entirely evident throughout the process.

Thus, as Christians we should support women in the unique callings God has given each of them, whether that calling includes a career, motherhood, or both. We should appreciate the variety of ways God works in and through each woman.

A true advocate for women helps women facing hardship

God is active during times of celebration and suffering. He reminds us that we will all experience suffering during our time on earth. In fact, Romans 8:22 tells us that the all of creation “groans” due to the curse of sin.

We all experience various forms of hardship, which can include familial loss, illness, financial stress, mental illness, infertility, miscarriage, or unexpected pregnancy. The church ought to come alongside and help people in their most vulnerable stages of life. This includes actively loving and protecting mothers who have made the brave and courageous decision to keep their babies despite pressure to abort.

Many women experience confusion, shame, and difficulty throughout their pregnancies, especially if those pregnancies are unexpected or unwanted. Although pregnancy is ideally a time of celebration and rejoicing in a new God-given life, it is important to remember that many mothers need care and comfort during and after their pregnancy. It is not an easy journey and is even more difficult for single mothers who are already lacking support.

A true advocate for women supports mothers before and after pregnancy

The church should love and care for women in one of the most life-altering and vulnerable stages of life: the time during and after pregnancy. We should continuously remind mothers of Jesus’ steadfast love as we walk alongside them.

Too often, churches encourage mothers in the early stages of pregnancy but neglect to stand with them after birth. Although pregnancy can be a difficult time, there are a host of challenges that can arise after birth as well. So, it is important that we seek to encourage and help the mother and baby after birth.

In honoring the Lord, we are to care for all mothers and their unborn children, reminding them of God’s truth that they are—or by faith can become—the beloved daughters of a loving heavenly Father.

Here are some resources that seek to help mothers during their pregnancy and beyond. Although an online resource cannot address all the complexities and possible difficulties surrounding pregnancy, these are helpful places to start.

• Human Coalition – An organization dedicated to helping women with unplanned pregnancies through all nine months and beyond
• Let Them Live – An organization that provides direct financial assistance to pregnant women in danger of aborting through online crowdfunding
• Sisters of Life – A community of women who seek to advocate for the protection of unborn babies and to support the mothers
• Find a Pregnancy Care Center and Other Resources – SBA List
• Alternatives to Abortion: Pregnancy Resource Centers – Focus on the Family

Hayden Sledge is a Coalitions intern at Family Research Council.

This article originally posted at FRCblog.com

Nine years ago, my wife and I were married.

Nine years. It’s a long time. Except that it’s also not so very long.

Long or short, nine years is definitely enough time to experience some of life’s ups and downs together as a couple.

If you’ve ever seen the 1965 Disney move That Darn Cat (starring one of my all-time favorite actors, Dean Jones, as an FBI agent tasked with tailing a roguish cat in an attempt to locate the ruthless bank robbers and their hostage), you may remember the scene in which Patti Randall (Hayley Mills) is talking with her boyfriend, Canoe, after returning home from yet another date spent watching a surfing movie. “Couldn’t we just once,” she asks, “see a nice quiet movie where boy meets girl, they have problems which aren’t too weird, they fall in love and live happily ever after?”

Falling in love and having problems which aren’t too weird—and, of course, living happily ever after—is probably the ambition most of us have in our single days when we envision meeting “the one.”

Real life, of course, isn’t always so simple. We do have problems, and some of them end up falling outside that category of “not too weird” (or hard, or long-lasting, or whatever other adjective you choose to insert).

I’m not talking about marriage problems here. I’m talking about life problems.

Now, I don’t know what sort of challenges you’ve experienced during your married life. Maybe the life problems my wife and I have experienced aren’t as big, serious, or weird as yours. That’s entirely possible. Or maybe they’re more so. The point is, at one level or another, we all have struggles we weren’t thinking about on the happy day we said “I do.”

I didn’t expect the family business I’d built my career around to begin a long, painful decline just a short time after my wife and I tied the knot.

I didn’t expect to be forced into an unexpected and unwanted career change when said family business finally shut down.

I didn’t expect my new business to take so long to get off the ground.

I didn’t expect the mental health challenges that roiled our lives for so many months and which still flare up now and then in unwanted ways.

I didn’t expect parenting four little ones to be as hard as it is. (All you fellow parents can give a knowing chuckle here.)

In short, our lives together have had challenges we didn’t anticipate, problems we didn’t envision, and bumps in the road we didn’t want. From a financial standpoint, we’re certainly not where we expected to be nearly a decade after marriage. We’ve had to raid our meager retirement savings to cover living expenses. We’re still living in our “starter home” with the small yard rather than enjoying a larger house with more space for the kids outside—and what’s more, I have no idea when that will change.

All of those things (and more) are true. And it’s also true that some of those difficulties wouldn’t have been an issue (or at least not as serious) if I were a single man.

But you know what? Despite that, there’s no way I’d want to go back.

Because despite the problems that wouldn’t be problems if I were single, married life is good. God Himself said it’s not good for man to be alone, and I agree. We’re made for companionship. We’re made to share life with a partner who walks beside us through all the ups and downs, no matter what.

And that, by God’s grace (and the goodness and patience of my wife), is what I’ve enjoyed these last nine years.

I have no idea what the next nine years will hold. I could speculate, but I’m not sure my predictions would be any more accurate now than the ones my wife and I made before we were married.

But whatever happens (or doesn’t), here’s what I know I want: with God’s help, I want both of us to still be in love with each other. I want us to be closer to each other and to God than ever before. And I want to be walking beside each other through whatever God allows in our paths.

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It does make a difference.

Your student lives in a world surrounded and infused by technology. Communication is instant. Friendships take place “online” sometimes even more than in “real life.”

This “connected” world brings new opportunities and new dangers. How do we navigate these together as a family?

Join me on Saturday March 7 at Wheaton Academy as we wrestle with these topics in a free seminar, “Technology, Faith and Family”

In our time together I will explore some essential biblical principles that will help your family successfully navigate this new world of technology, social media, and online life.

This is an event for parents and teens, but if your teen cannot attend, parents are still encouraged to come.

RSVP to “events@visionaryfam.com”

I don’t know about you, but I find God’s instructions in Deuteronomy 6:6-7 both challenging and convicting. It’s in this passage that God commands parents to teach their children in His ways diligently—as we sit at home, walk along the way, rise up, lie down, and so on.

In other words, we’re basically supposed to be training our children in the ways of God all the time. It’s a constant, unending priority. If you’ve got kids, one of your primary job descriptions as a human being is to be your child’s diligent teacher.

It’s a responsibility I want to take seriously, yet I fail way too often. I feel I rarely live up to the level of diligence described in this passage.

This was brought to mind recently when I attended a homeschool convention. Listening to one of the speakers, I was reminded again that I need to do a better job training and discipling my kids. Right there, I asked God to help me become a Deuteronomy 6 Dad.

The next day was Sunday, and I had frankly forgotten about that quick prayer offered up the day before. But God, of course, hadn’t.

As my wife and I spent a few minutes in the afternoon planning the upcoming week, we heard crying from upstairs where three of our children (ages six, five, and three) were playing. I went up to discover Katherine, the three-year-old, laying on her back crying, and Timothy, the five-year-old, standing unconcernedly nearby. There had been an accident of some sort—mostly Timothy’s fault, from what I could discern—and Katherine had been hurt.

One of the qualities I want to instill in my boys is care for others—particularly those younger or weaker than themselves. So to see Timothy standing by doing nothing while his sister was crying (as a result of his carelessness no less), showed me that he hadn’t taken this lesson to heart yet.

And this was when God began to answer my prayer from the day before.

Instead of getting upset and railing at Timothy for his carelessness and thoughtlessness, I sat down and began to talk about how we should take care of others. I talked about how Jesus wants us to treat each other. We talked about the Good Samaritan and how he had shown love to the man left for dead by the road, and if God wants us to love even strangers, how much more should we love our own family?

It was one of those moments when I actually felt like I was handling this Dad role pretty well.

When I went back downstairs, I remembered my prayer from the day before. God, I felt, had just answered that prayer.

No, one good conversation with my boys about loving their sister doesn’t make me a Deuteronomy 6 Dad—not yet. But every teachable moment I seize brings me that much closer to the ideal I want to reach.

I want to keep asking God for His help in becoming a father who takes Deuteronomy 6 seriously, and I want to keep taking advantage of the teachable moments life brings my way. I also want to be ready to create teachable moments, speaking of God and His truth on a regular basis with my kids.

The truth is, if we don’t teach our children how to know, love, and serve God, who will? Yes, we hope they’ll learn these things at church, but God gave my wife and me the primary responsibility. The church is a support—not a crutch. And the fact is, if my wife and I aren’t doing our job at home, it’s unlikely the church will be able to succeed in a couple of hours a week.

Dads (and Moms, too), let’s take our responsibility seriously. Ask God to help you become a Deuteronomy 6 Dad. It’s a prayer He’d love to answer.

Then keep your eyes open for the teachable moments God will bring your way.

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If you appreciate the work and ministry of IFI, please consider a tax-deductible donation to sustain our endeavors.  It does make a difference.

I recently embarked on the adventure of teaching my boys (ages six and four) how to ride a bike without training wheels. After multiple sessions, our efforts paid off and both boys are doing very well at keeping their balance. (Now we just need to work on steering and braking!)

Our first couple of sessions felt a bit fruitless. We went out to a large empty parking lot. One of the boys would climb on the bike, I’d run alongside holding the handlebars, and occasionally let go for a moment. They usually couldn’t last more than a few seconds on their own (if that long!). As any parent who has followed this process knows, it’s rather demanding for Mom or Dad!

I was commenting to my wife that we didn’t seem to be making progress, and she did what any good millennial parent would do: she suggested I search online for tips. So I did, and discovered one strategy that appears to have made all the difference. Instead of running alongside holding onto the handlebars, the article said, run behind the bike holding onto the child. That way, they’re getting more of a feel for the bike since the parent isn’t holding onto it.

We gave it a try, and after just a couple of sessions, both boys were riding for long stretches without any assistance from me. Hooray!

As a father of young children, I’m not going to presume to have all the answers about how to raise godly children. I’m too early in the process. But it strikes me that my recent experience with bicycle training has some parallels to other aspects of parenting.

First, persistence and consistency are fundamental. Just as I couldn’t take my boys out once and expect them to master bike riding, I can’t explain concepts such as obedience, respect, the gospel, or anything else just once and expect it to stick. It’s a process. It takes time, repetition, and consistency. We’ll miss out on the rewards if we give up too early or practice too inconsistently. It’s easy to get tired, lackadaisical, or apathetic, but in truth, we can’t afford to indulge any of these. Too much is at stake.

Second, everything—and I do mean everything—must be taught. Now that my kids know how to balance, we have to work on steering and braking. Similarly, in other areas of life it sometimes amazes me the basic things I have to explain to my kids. Certain truths are so obvious to my adult mind that I have a hard time realizing that my kids don’t know them. But they don’t. And so my wife and I have to explain, and explain, and explain again, going over the most basic fundamentals of life until they understand. Whether it’s the proper way to wash our hands, how to have good table manners, or why they need to treat Mommy and Daddy with respect, my wife and I have to explain it all. But if we don’t teach them these things, who will? One lesson I’m trying to learn as a Dad of young children is to never take it for granted that my kids understand something if I haven’t explained it. It might be frustrating at times, but it’s important.

A third lesson from my recent experience is that the right strategy is fundamentally important. Now again, I’m still in the early stages of my parenting journey, so I’m not going to overstep my experience and tell you how to raise your children. What I will say is that the Bible gives us excellent direction. One of the fundamental principles I see as I look at Scripture is the importance of consistent parental involvement and instruction. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 is a classic passage on this subject. Here, God tells us to operate in essentially a constant mode of discipleship. It’s a high standard and one I frankly don’t measure up to nearly as well as I’d like, but it’s something to aspire to. It’s fundamentally a simple strategy, one that might even appear primitive by modern standards, but we’ll never improve on God’s model. As parents, we need to consistently—dare I say constantly—point our children to God and His truth.

We could probably draw more parallels between teaching bike riding and the rest of parenting, but these are hopefully enough to remind all of us of some simple things we need to be doing on a daily basis. And Lord willing, one of these days we’ll be able to look back at all that teaching, all that instruction, all those moments of working to help them “get it,” and see that it paid off.

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