Things Teen Vogue’s Perverse Writer Forgot to Tell Teens
* WARNING: READER DISCRETION ADVISED*
A recent article in Teen Vogue magazine titled “Anal Sex; What You Need to Know” has justifiably generated outrage among decent people and generated outrage at the outrage among indecent people. Perverse sex writer, sex educator, blogger, and podcaster 26-year-old Gigi Engle offered a detailed explanation for teens on how to engage in sodomy in a decidedly pro-sodomy essay. Here is an excerpt that omits the step-by-step instructions for boys and girls, whom Engle refers to as “prostate-owners” and “non-prostate-owners,” presumably so as not to offend the “transgirls” with prostates and penises or the “transboys” with vaginas:
This is anal 101, for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk.
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Anal sex, though often stigmatized, is a perfectly natural way to engage in sexual activity. People have been having anal sex since the dawn of humanity…. So if you’re a little worried about trying it or are having trouble understanding the appeal, just know that it isn’t weird or gross.
The anus is full of nerve endings that, for some, feel awesome when stimulated.
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The anus is very tight, and the feeling of having something in your rectal area is unique. It is often described as a feeling of fullness, which can be delightful.
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Forgive me for waiting until the very end of this piece to get to this burning question, but I wanted you to know the benefits and positives when it comes to anal. Because there are many!
Yes, you will come in contact with some fecal matter.…You are entering a butthole. It is where poop comes out. Expecting to do anal play and see zero poop isn’t particularly realistic. It’s NOT a big deal. Everyone poops. Everyone has a butt.
Anal sex and anal stimulation can be awesome, and if you want to give it a go, you do that. More power to you.
Yes, teens, sodomy is ancient, appealing, unique, delightful, positive, empowering, beneficial, and downright awesome!
Weeell, except for the pooping on your partner part—oh, and the other things Engle omitted in her eagerness to cheerlead for anal intercourse, things like pain during sodomy, anal fissures, anal abscesses, anal fistulas, anal incontinence, increased risk for anal cancer; increased risk for incurable viral diseases like hepatitis, genital herpes, genital warts, and HIV; increased risk for parasitic diseases like giardiasis and amoebiasis; increased risk for bacterial infections like gonorrhea, campylobacter, chlamydia, shigella, chancroid, granuloma inguinale, syphilis (btw, untreated gonorrhea and chlamydia can lead to sterility in women and men “non-prostate-owners” and in “prostate-owners”).
The CDC warns that “Anal sex is the riskiest sexual behavior for getting and transmitting HIV for men and women.”
Unlike vaginas, rectums are not designed for penetrative sex. They are not elastic, they don’t produce lubrication, and the tissue lining is thinner and more easily torn, which is why sodomy is both unnatural and rife with health risks.
But other than that, sodomy’s swell.
Many may not realize how cool sodomy has become or that it’s been on the rise among heterosexual couples for the past 25 years, especially among younger women—including even high school girls—who are being pressured by their male partners who have drunk deeply from the polluted well of pornography.
According to Pornhub, the “largest pornography website on the Internet,” searches in the United States for pornography that depicts anal sex “increased 120 percent between 2009 and 2015.”
A decade ago, an article in GQ magazine titled “Is Anal Sex the New Deal-Breaker,” explored the reasons for this increase:
Now that anal sex has been propelled higher on the mainstream menu by a hypersexualized culture and the proliferation of porn… some men can’t help but order it. And some women feel the need to offer it.
How unfortunate that now a woman, Gigi Engle, actively seeks to normalize a sexual practice promoted by the business that profits from the degradation of women.
Perhaps a closer look at the person Teen Vogue finds a fit “educator” for adolescents is in order.
On her blog, Engle shares a lot about her promiscuous sex life (e.g., sex on first dates, sex on 4th dates, casual hook-ups, and sex with men who have girlfriends), and in one entry, she shared her “5 Essential Dating Deal Breakers” one of which is this:
If the sex is bad, even once, I’m out. This may be a harsh judgment and I do give second chances, but not on this one. I’m immediately put off the entire situation. Doing something weird mid-coitus also falls under this umbrella….I don’t know you very well. If you want to get weird, let’s wait until we’re actually dating or at least until I’ve had another glass of wine.
Just a few days ago, on the Brides magazine website, Engle proved her pervert bona fides by provided a tutorial on “How to Successfully Pull Off Sex in Public”:
Admit it: So many of us want to have sex in public but don’t know how…. Sex in public is an art form, and pulling it off successfully is no joke. It takes skill and cunning to make it happen, but isn’t the planning (and then getting away with it) half the fun?
Here is everything you need to know about having sex in public. Happy hunting!
…Having sex in public is technically illegal, so therefore having a plan in place will help you follow through without incident (read: arrest).
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Don’t choose a time that coincides with heavy foot traffic or the unforgiving stare of the sun…. If you creep into a park at 7 p.m. on a summer evening, less people will be out strolling around or picnicking.
…A playground in the dead of night may sound like a good idea, but it is not. If you get caught having sex on a playground, you might wind up on a sex-offender list. Yes, that is a thing.
Don’t choose places that are anywhere near where children roam, even if said children are not currently there.
Go for elevators (assuming you can press the “stop” button without setting off an alarm), stairwells, forests, parks, and airplane bathrooms. You want to avoid places that have lots of people.
…[S]kip underwear. Both you and your partner can do without it for this particular outing. Underwear of any variety creates an unnecessary barrier that will only be an annoying hindrance to your public sex…. The key to pulling off exhibitionism: simplicity.
In another article for Brides on ways to have the “Best Newlywed Sex of Your Life,” Engle recommends sharing sexual fantasies, watching porn, using sex toys, and trying “some kinky stuff.”
Maybe someone should tell know-it-all sexpert Engle that, although everyone poops, not everyone poops on the person they love most in the world—the person for whom they would lay down their life, the person whom they view as created in the image and likeness of God and, therefore, of infinite dignity and worth.
Apparently when Engle uses the word “natural,” she means “occurring in nature,” as in some humans do it. Is that how she determines the fitness or morality of an action? If so, then bestiality, incest, voyeurism, and necrophilia are “natural.” Also, like sodomy, bestiality, incest, voyeurism, and necrophilia have been around “since the dawn of humanity.”
Anal intercourse is wildly unnatural in that it violates the design of human bodies. Asking a sexual partner to engage in such an act is an affront to their dignity. Engaging in sodomy defiles both partners. Despite what the culture says, some sexual acts are shameful. There are moral boundaries around our sexual lives, and they are constituted by more than just consent.
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